Basic Calling Plans – Basic Internet Home Phone Plan
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Ooma Basic comes with all of the features you’d expect, and even some you wouldn’t expect, like the Ooma Home Phone app.
- Phone service – $0.00/mo*
- Ooma Telo® White –
- SHIPPING – FREE
- RISK-FREE 30-DAY RETURN
Add to Cart
*You only pay monthly taxes and fees. Check here
Free U.S. Calling
After an Ooma Telo purchase, you’ll get free residential phone service: all you pay are applicable taxes and fees.
Ooma Mobile HD App
Enjoy unlimited outbound calling on iOS and Android devices using the Ooma Mobile App.
Ooma Pure Voice HD Technology
Ooma’s technology ensures fewer dropped calls and crisp, acoustic performance.
Amazon Echo Integration
Use Alexa, Amazon Echo’s voice-enabled assistant, to initiate phone calls by number or contact name, or check voicemail.
Features included with Free service:
911 and 911 Alerts
Ooma forwards your registered service address to 911 dispatchers during emergencies. You can also receive a text or email when 911 is called.
Low-Cost International Calling
Make international calls starting at 1.4 cents per minute, or choose the Ooma World Plan and call over 60 countries for only $17.99 a month plus applicable taxes and fees.
Keep Your Number
Enjoy free number porting when you purchase an annual subscription to Ooma Premier, or pay a one-time fee of $39.99. Check here to see if your number can be ported.
The Utmost Voice Clarity
Ooma PureVoice HD technology delivers crisp acoustic performance, whether you’re calling Ooma-to-Ooma or to any other HD network.
Answering Machine Functionality
Enjoy one-touch message playback capability with the option of forwarding, reversing and deleting messages.
MyOoma Online Portal
Hear messages, check call logs and control your preferences online.
Free 60-day Trial of Ooma Premier
Every Ooma system comes with a free 60-day trial of Ooma Premier, which includes our most advanced features. Ooma Premier costs just $9. 99/month. Sign up for a year, and we’ll transfer your phone number for free ($39.99 value) or you can choose a free accessory.
Easy Setup and Activation
With Ooma’s easy setup, most customers can start making free calls in less than 15 minutes. .
DECT 6.0 Support
Get superb sound quality, security and range for the Ooma HD3 Handset and the Ooma Linx without interfering with your Wi-Fi network or other home electronics.
Free Ooma-to-Ooma Calling
Call another Ooma customer anywhere in the world, for FREE.
Choose a New Number in Most U.S. Area Codes
Select a local area code, or one in a city far away. No matter what, we’ve got your number.
Online Call Log
Check your calling history from any internet-connected computer or mobile device.
Advanced Network/Firewall Configuration
Ooma Telo is a high-performance firewall router with Quality of Service support, and it allows you to set up home-based servers and other network devices.
Ooma Wireless Adapter
Plug in the Ooma Wireless Adapter ($49.99) and unplug your Ooma Telo. Then, place it anywhere in range of your wireless network.
Pair your mobile phone or Bluetooth headset to your Ooma Telo using the Ooma Bluetooth adapter ($29.99).
Compare Basic service to Premier service
The table below summarizes the available features in the Free service and Premier service tiers.
|Standard Phone Features||Free service||Premier service|
*Monthly fees and taxes apply
|Puerto Rico calling||X|
|Free in-network calling||X||X|
|Online call logs||X||X|
|Call return (*69)||X||X|
|Online account management with My Ooma||X||X|
|One-touch voicemail access||X||X|
|Remote voicemail retrieval||X||X|
|Do not disturb||X|
|Send to voicemail||X|
|Voicemail forwarding (e-mail audio attachments)||X|
|Anonymous call blocking||X|
|Custom call blocking||X|
|Known spammer call blocking||X|
|Suspected spammer call blocking||X|
|Ooma Mobile HD app||X||X|
|Ooma Mobile calling||X|
|Bluetooth adapter ($29. 99, Telo only)||X||X|
|Wireless adapter ($49.99, Telo only)||X||X|
|Contact list (Telo only)||X||X|
|Ooma HD voice calling||X||X|
|Custom ring patterns||X|
|Enhanced call waiting||X|
|Instant Second Line™||X|
|Three-way conference calling||X|
|Google Voice extensions (Telo only)||X|
|Amazon Echo (Telo only)||X||X|
|Nest alerts (Telo only)||X|
|Other connected home integrations (Telo only)||X|
As seen on TV.
Watch our ads to see how Ooma phone service saves you money, blocks robocallers and more.
Ooma gives you options.
We give you three ways to connect. Ooma Telo LTE with Battery Backup runs on an advanced LTE network to give you ultra-reliable phone service. Ooma Telo Air gives you a wireless and connection through your Wi-Fi and our base model, Ooma Telo, plugs into your router.
Ooma Telo LTE
+ FREE SHIPPING
+ RISK-FREE 30-DAY RETURN
Add to Cart
Ooma Telo Air
+ FREE SHIPPING
+ RISK-FREE 30-DAY RETURN
ADD TO CART
+ FREE SHIPPING
+ RISK-FREE 30-DAY RETURN
ADD TO CART
|Phone service||$19.99/month plus taxes & fees||Free plus taxes & fees||Free plus taxes & fees|
|Connection||Cellular network, no home
internet required (Check coverage)
|Wi-Fi to home router||Ethernet cable to home router|
|25+ Ooma Premier features||•|
|Unlimited nationwide calling, voicemail, caller ID and call waiting.||•||•||•|
|Works during internet and power outages||•|
|Cellular access fee||•|
|Local 911 and 911 text alerts||•||•||•|
|Ooma app for iOS and Android||•||•||•|
|PureVoice HD technology||•||•||•|
|Low international calling rates||•||•||•|
Ooma Review – The Good and Bad for 2023
With a free plan and affordable prices for more feature-rich plans, Ooma helps customers set up a complete phone system. You get the essentials, like voicemail, call forwarding, and call blocking, plus various other features to help you tailor the system to your specific needs.
We love Ooma for small to mid-size businesses lacking IT teams, especially ones that still want to use desk phones in some capacity. If that sounds like your situation, you will appreciate Ooma’s easy-to-use setup and custom phone system capabilities that can handle traditional landlines, IP phones, and mobile devices with equal aplomb.
Read on to learn more about this leading VoIP phone service and how it stacks up against our other top VoIP systems.
Compare Ooma to the Best Business VoIP Phone Services
Ooma is one of our top picks for VoIP phone systems because of their easy-to-grasp pricing structure, ability to integrate with your existing phone equipment, and suitability for traditional office settings. Let’s take a look at our Golden Eggs, our four favorite overall solutions from our full post on the best VoIP providers and phone systems:
Nextiva is an unbeatable all-around VoIP phone service that can work well for most businesses, whether they need a platform for external communication, internal collaboration, call centers, or any combination thereof. Get started by getting a quote for your Nextiva plan today.
Ooma is the favored solution of traditional offices converting to VoIP from an old phone system, because you can keep using the phones and other equipment you have while also tapping into advanced VoIP features. Sign up for Ooma and get a free local and toll-free number.
Vonage provides a wide array of features and capabilities that you can choose from to bolster your call center and make it more efficient and effective. Get a quote from Vonage by talking to one of their experts about your needs.
RingCentral is a versatile VoIP phone system with a wide range of use cases, including remote work, international calling, and virtual phone numbers. Try it out today with a free 30-day trial.
But if any of these don’t suit your needs, these are also great choices: Zoom, Mitel, Google Voice, OpenPhone, 11Sight, Microsoft Teams, 1-Voip, 3CX, Phone.com, Dialpad, CallHippo, 8×8, GoTo Connect, Aircall.
Ooma: The Good and the Bad
Customer support: You likely won’t need help setting up your new phone system. But if you do, Ooma makes it easy to get in touch with a friendly and knowledgeable professional. Beyond live chat and email support, Ooma business users have a separate support number from home customers. This helps ensure you get fast help when you need it.
You won’t be directed to the same support line as hundreds of home phone users, and you won’t have to deal with long wait times or transfers to the right department. Furthermore, Ooma also has an active community forum that covers best practices, tips, inspiration, and even answers to basic questions.
Easy setup: Ooma features an out-of-the-box setup that gets everything up and running without a headache. It requires zero technical knowledge to install your Ooma phone system, and everything is fully configured upon arrival.
This auto-configuration technology detects all of the proper settings required for the system to work. In short, this simple setup allows you to skip several steps that would normally be required to install a new VoIP phone system.
Full-featured mobile app: Every Ooma plan comes with a mobile app. The mobile version really comes in handy whenever you’re on the go or away from your home or office desk computers. The mobile app is available on the Apple App Store and Google Play Store, so it’s compatible with iPhones and Androids alike.
You make and receive calls, check your voicemail, and update your account information right from your smartphone. This is a significant advantage over other phone systems that are tied to physical desk locations or offices.
Virtual receptionist: Ooma’s Virtual Receptionist is ideal for directing calls for your business. You can set up a custom greeting, send callers to different extensions, or provide a menu of options that can guide callers to the right person. Whether you’re a solo business owner or have a multi-staff company, the Virtual Receptionist feature acts like another set of hands to help you handle calls.
Fair pricing: Lots of business phone services appear to have low entry-level pricing. But then you quickly realize that you need to purchase more expensive tiers to get what you’re really looking for. That’s not the case at all with Ooma.
With plans starting at just $19.95 per user per month, it’s a pretty good rate when you consider the fact that even the entry-level plan comes with over 50 standard features. You won’t have to pay extra for things like call forwarding, virtual extensions, call logs, virtual fax, and all of the basics.
Unlimited calling: Ooma offers unlimited calling within the US, Canada, Mexica, and Puerto Rico with any Ooma Office plan. This is a great perk if you don’t want to worry about usage restrictions or paying by the minute.
So if the vast majority of your business calls are taking place here in these regions, you won’t have to pay extra for high-volume calling.
Limited basic features: Ooma’s entry-level home and business packages include features that work well for many people. But to get some of the more sought-after features, you may need to upgrade to a higher tier. Features like text messaging, video conferencing, call recording, and voicemail transcription aren’t available at the lowest tier.
Wi-Fi requires add-on: If you want your system to connect to the internet wirelessly—a good idea if you don’t have hardwired hookups for each phone in your home or office—you’ll need to buy a separate Wi-Fi adapter for $49.99. Additionally, businesses may need to buy an Ooma Office Base Station to connect their phones and other devices.
No call center features: Ooma isn’t really set up for call centers. So if you have dozens of phone support agents or sales reps that are handling a high volume of inbound and outbound calls per day, you’d likely need to consider an alternative option.
No desktop app on entry-level plan: Most business users will likely have to start at the mid-tier Pro plan as well because the Essentials package does not come with the Ooma desktop app. So if you sign up for the entry-level package, you’re limited to just using Ooma from your smartphone. This isn’t ideal for traditional office environments where most users are in front of a computer all day.
Ooma Pricing and Options
Ooma offers both residential and business VoIP phone services. Since we’ve just focused on their business-oriented features and benefits in this review, let’s zoom in on what an Ooma package for your office or organization might cost you.
Ooma Office Phone System
Ooma segments its pricing and packages into two categories—residential and business.
Residential users can start with a 100% free plan. The only cost is for the phone system itself, plus any equipment you might need to get up and running. The free residential plan, known as Basic, offers connectivity with the mobile app, HD audio, call forwarding, and other must-haves.
For additional services like a second line, backup number, voicemail monitoring, call forwarding, and call blocking, you can upgrade to Premier—starting at $9. 99 per month.
Business users have three different packages to choose from:
- Ooma Office Essentials — $19.95 per month
- Ooma Office Pro — $24.95 per month
- Ooma Office Pro Plus — $29.95 per month
All three services come standard with more than 50+ features to support business phone needs.
With the Essentials pricing tier, you receive a virtual receptionist, hold music, digital fax, and the ability to automatically send voicemails as audio attachments to your email address.
Additionally, the Essentials tier allows you to set up Ring Groups. These are groups of your team members who are eligible to answer certain types of incoming calls, such as a billing call, a tech support call, or a general customer service call. You can set up this feature so that it rings on the phones of all members of the appropriate Ring Group at the same time or so that it rings on one phone at a time for the members of the Ring Group until someone answers it.
When you jump from Essentials to Pro, you’ll get added features like the Ooma desktop application, video conferencing, call recording, call blocking, voicemail transcription, caller info match, dynamic caller ID, Google and Microsoft 365 integrations, call analytics, and more.
For an extra $5 per month, the Pro Plus plan supports Salesforce integrations, call queuing, and hot desking. That’s a no-brainer upgrade for businesses already using Salesforce.
Ooma Residential and Business Phone Numbers
Getting a phone number through Ooma is simple, whether you’re a home or business user. Home customers can register a number when they register their Ooma Telo device. Ooma makes numbers available in almost any area code, so you can even pick a non-local number if you’d prefer. Business customers can register either a local number or a toll-free number for their business.
Ooma also allows you to transfer your current number to your Ooma setup through porting. This is handy for businesses that already have an established customer base that uses the current phone number. You won’t need to change your marketing or update your number anywhere if you switch to Ooma from another company.
Every Ooma customer owns their phone number, allowing them to transfer their number to another provider if they switch services. Just make sure your account with Ooma is current and in good standing before attempting to port the number to a new service.
Ooma Virtual Receptionist
No automated feature can fully replace a real-life receptionist for your business, but Ooma’s Virtual Receptionist is about as close as you can get. If you’re a business owner and don’t mind relying on an automated system that directs calls to the correct department or person, then the Virtual Receptionist can save you from an extra person on your payroll.
The best part about the Virtual Receptionist feature is that you can set a schedule for when you want it to take over. Say you have a receptionist available from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Set the Virtual Receptionist to start working at 5 p. m. to direct calls even when your business is closed for the day.
Depending on the size of your business and how many departments you have, you can also set up the Virtual Receptionist as a multi-level system, fielding calls to different departments. The end result is a more efficient calling system for you and your customers.
Ooma Call Recording
Available to business customers, Ooma’s call recording feature lets you record and play back phone calls as needed to make sure you don’t miss any important details. This function is a must for capturing important information from a phone call that you’d like to be able to review later, especially if you’re on the go and don’t have the opportunity to take notes.
Choose between on-demand call recording and continuous call recording. The latter automatically records any inbound or outbound call. You may want to use this feature if your business prefers to review calls to monitor customer service. Call recording is also available for audio conferencing, allowing each participant to have a recording of the meeting for future use.
All recordings remain in your call logs in Ooma Office. From there, you can play, download, or delete them as needed.
Ooma Enhanced Call Blocking
Ooma lets home and business users stop unwanted calls through call blocking. The feature is available only on the upper tiers of each plan type—Premier and Ooma Office Pro—but is absolutely worth the cost if you dislike your phone line being tied up with spam calls.
Especially important for businesses, enhanced call blocking automatically searches through a robocall database to determine if the calls coming into your line are legit. Detected spam calls get blocked automatically instead of coming through as a ring to your phone. That means more time for productive phone calls.
You can also manually block numbers that may not get automatically detected by Ooma but are still creating a problem for your home or business. And choose whether you want your phone to ring when an anonymous caller is trying to get through.
In other words, your blocking profile is entirely customizable, but you can also fall back on preconfigured blocking levels if you’d like. Control any settings related to call blocking via Ooma Office or the mobile app.
Ooma Video Conferencing
Use Ooma for more than just audio calls, thanks to its video conferencing capabilities. The simple interface allows a host to create a meeting within seconds through Ooma Office. Then others join by entering a meeting ID or clicking a shared link. Meetings can happen on virtually any device with Ooma’s mobile app.
If you’re on a Pro plan, you can have to 25 people can be in a meeting at one time. Pro Plus plans support up to 100 participants.
Like other leading video conferencing programs, Ooma allows participants and hosts to screen share, even simultaneously, creating a collaborative space to share information about a project. There’s also a chat feature, muting capabilities, and password protection for meetings.
One downfall of the system? There’s currently no feature for recording video conferences like you get with other services, such as Phone.com and RingCentral.
Ooma Voicemail Forwarding and Transcription
Having an intuitive and reliable voicemail system is crucial to both home and business phone users. Ooma home phone users get all the expected voicemail basics, including a customizable greeting and the ability to check voicemail remotely via the mobile app.
There’s also voicemail forwarding for home or business users. The system sends your voicemails to your email inbox with the click of a setting. No matter where you are, you’ll be able to check your voicemail via an audio recording in your email, even if you don’t have your Ooma phone available. For people who like to check work voicemail from home, this is a clear benefit.
Take advantage of even more modern voicemail conveniences with voicemail transcription, also available for home and business plans. The feature creates a text version of your voicemail and sends it to your email.
Basic home phone plans use automated technology for transcription. Premier users get human-assisted transcription for more accuracy. Unfortunately, there’s no option for human-assisted transcription for business plans, and only Ooma Office Pro users have the feature available.
Ooma Desktop and Mobile Apps
Ooma ensures that you can change settings and fit your phone system to your needs by making its back-end available on a range of devices. Use the desktop app or mobile app, depending on your preferences and what devices are available to you, to change settings, check voicemails, route calls, and more.
Ooma offers its desktop app to business customers only. Allow team members to access the back-end to update settings or go through their voicemail inbox. The app features a directory, allowing team members to contact one another by extension with ease. The desktop app is currently only available in Ooma Office Pro.
The Ooma mobile app is just as intuitive. Use it just like you would your Ooma phone, but through your cell phone instead. Make calls, take calls, check voicemail, and set up group chats, allowing you to stay productive, even when you’re away from your main Ooma setup.
Ooma CRM Integration
While Ooma is definitely built for small businesses, you can still get enterprise-quality benefits through its CRM integration.
If you sign up for Ooma’s Pro Plus plan, you’ll have the option to integrate your phone system into Salesforce or Microsoft Dynamics 365.
This makes it possible for your team to make calls directly from within your CRM. So you have access to all of your customer information without having to bounce back and forth between multiple screens and platforms.
In addition to simplified outbound dialing within your CRM, you’ll also see all of the customer’s contact information for inbound calls within Salesforce or Microsoft. If you don’t have the number saved, you can easily create a new contact with a single click.
These integrations go beyond basic calling features. You’ll also have the option to automate specific call tasks within the CRM record. For example, if a new call gets placed through your CRM, you can set up an automated reminder for follow-ups based on specific parameters.
For now, this is only available for Salesforce and Microsoft Dynamics 365. So if you’re using another CRM software, you can’t integrate Ooma.
Expanding Your Knowledge: Ooma
Is Ooma reliable?
Ooma is an ultra-reliable VoIP phone system that provides high-quality calling at an affordable price. It has thousands of five-star reviews across high-trust websites, and it’s an exceptional value for the price.
For businesses and residential phone solutions alike, Ooma can help you save up to 70% on your monthly bill. There are no contracts to keep you locked in, and your purchase is covered by a 30-day money-back guarantee.
Is Ooma good for small businesses?
Ooma is built specifically for small businesses. It comes standard with over 50 premium features to help small businesses better serve customers and make employees more productive.
As an all-in-one business phone system, small businesses can even use Ooma for video conferencing, faxing, SMS messaging, and more. You can get set up in 15 minutes with no hardware required.
Can I use Ooma with my cell phone?
Yes, you can use Ooma to make and receive calls from your cell phone. The Ooma mobile app is available with every Ooma office plan—so you can use Ooma at work, at home, or on the go. It’s easy to distinguish your Ooma calls from your personal calls, and you can turn on do not disturb mode when you’re out of the office if you don’t want business calls to ring on your cell phone.
The mobile app can automatically convert voicemails into transcribed messages so you can prioritize them and see what you missed when listening isn’t an option. Features like call recording, messaging, and call transfers are all available from the Ooma app as well.
Can I keep my phone number if I switch to Ooma?
Yes, you can keep your phone number if you switch to Ooma. This process is managed through Ooma’s number porting service, which is free in most scenarios. To verify that your number can be ported to Ooma, simply enter your number in the Check Portability box when you’re prompted during the signup process.
Ooma also has local numbers and toll-free numbers that you can get for free when you sign up for a business phone plan.
Does Ooma have a yearly fee?
Ooma does not have a yearly fee. Unlike other phone systems on the market, Ooma offers month-to-month pricing and won’t lock you into a long-term or annual contract.
Ooma Office plans start at $19.95 per user per month. Ooma also has a residential phone system that offers unlimited free calling in the US. Just pay taxes and fees, which typically cost less than $5.
Is Ooma considered a landline?
Ooma is not considered a landline. It’s a VoIP phone service that delivers landline-quality calls using a high-speed internet connection. You can use Ooma to make and receive calls using the Ooma mobile app, Ooma desktop app, or a VoIP-enabled phone.
A VoIP phone system does not require a landline telephone connection. For more information, refer to our in-depth guide on how VoIP works.
What internet speed do you need for Ooma?
Ooma requires an internet speed of at least 256 kbps upstream and downstream for each simultaneous call for its office phone systems. For example, if you think four people in your office will be on the phone at the same time, you’d need 1024 kbps of upstream and downstream bandwidth.
Ooma home phone systems for residential use require a DSL connection with at least 384 kbps of bandwidth upstream and downstream. We have a complete guide on VoIP speed testing that you can use as an additional resource.
How long does it take to set up Ooma?
It takes less than 15 minutes to set up Ooma. Ooma does not require professional installation, and you don’t need any technical experience to deploy your new VoIP phone system. All of Ooma’s technology is pre-configured and ready to go out of the box. Simply follow the instructions, and you can start making and receiving calls with Ooma in no time.
Comparing The Best Business VoIP Phone Services
Ooma may or may not be the right solution for your home or office, but our in-depth reviews of the best VoIP phone providers should lead you to the right one.
Ooma has plenty to offer home and business phone customers, from its customizable setup to its convenient features, like call blocking and call forwarding. Ooma Office is one of the best VoIP phone services for small businesses without an IT department to do all the setup. Its simplistic setup can get your team up, running, and understanding the system with minimal hiccups along the way.
Phones and tablets | Android
The latest designs
The world’s first
Download 4K movies at incredible speed. Enjoy group video calls without lag. Feel the effect of presence with augmented reality. 5G technology is the next evolution of phones and is currently only available on Android devices. 1
Galaxy S21 FE 5G
Galaxy S21 5G
Galaxy Note 20
Find X3 Pro
Reno6 Pro 5G
Nord 2 5G
Truly flexible devices
Want to play and watch movies at the same time? Open the screen. Unleash the new possibilities of Android.
Galaxy Z Fold3 5G
Galaxy Z Flip3 5g
Cameras that won’t let you down
Some Android devices boast some of the best cameras in the world. With them, you can take beautiful photos even when shooting on the move or in poor lighting.
Galaxy S21 Ultra 5G
Sometimes you need a bigger screen
Watch movies and series. Edit photos to the smallest detail. With an Android tablet, there’s enough screen space for everything.
Galaxy Tab S7
Tab M10 HD (2nd Gen) Tablet
Yoga Smart Tab
with little RAM
Enjoy the Android experience on smartphones with less than 2 GB of RAM. Special versions of our apps, like Google Go and Camera, take up less space and launch faster. The Files app allows you to share files without spending data. In addition, new apps specifically for Android Go are constantly appearing on the Play Store.
Find your perfect
Ready to switch to Android?
In just a few steps, you can transfer your files, contacts, and apps from your old phone (even if it’s an iOS device) to your new one.
story by Nikolai Nosov, read online
Once Mishka and I were in a toy store and saw a wonderful toy – a telephone. In a large wooden box were two telephones, two handsets to speak and listen into, and a whole spool of wire. The saleswoman explained to us that if you put one telephone in one apartment, and the other at the neighbors and connect both devices with a wire, then you can talk.
– Here we should buy! We are just neighbors,” said Mishka. – Good stuff! This is not some simple toy that you break and throw away. This is a useful item!
“Yes,” I say, “a very useful thing! I wanted to talk, picked up the phone – talked, and there was no need to go anywhere.
— Convenience! Mishka was delighted. – Sitting at home and talking. Amazing!
Mishka and I decided to raise money to buy a phone. For two weeks in a row we didn’t eat ice cream, we didn’t go to the movies – we saved up all the money. Finally, we collected as much as we needed and bought a phone.
Rushed home from the store with a box. They put one telephone at my place, another at Mishka’s, and from my phone they stretched a wire through the window down, straight to Mishka’s telephone.
— Well, — says Mishka, — let’s try to talk. Run upstairs and listen.
I rushed to my room, picked up the receiver and listened, and the receiver was already shouting in Mishka’s voice:
— Hello! Hello!
I’ll scream too:
— Do you hear anything? Mishka screams.
– Heard. Do you hear?
– Heard. That’s great! Can you hear well?
– Good. And you?
— I feel good too! Ha ha ha! Can you hear me laughing?
– Heard. Ha ha ha! Do you hear?
– Heard. Listen, now I’ll come to you. The bear ran up to me, and we started hugging for joy:
— It’s good that we bought a phone! Is it true? Mishka says.
— Of course, — I say, — good.
— Listen, now I’ll go back and call you. He ran away and called again. I picked up the phone:
Do you hear?
— And I’m fine. Let’s talk.
— Come on, — I say, — what are we talking about?
— Well, about something. .. About something… It’s good that we bought a phone, isn’t it?
— Now, if they didn’t buy it, it would be bad. Is it true?
— What is “well”?
— Why aren’t you talking?
— Why aren’t you talking?
“Yes, I don’t know what to talk about,” says Mishka. — It always happens like this: when you need to talk, you don’t know what to talk about, and when you don’t need to talk, you talk and talk like that…
I hung up the phone and began to think. Suddenly a call. I picked up the phone.
— Well, did you think of it? Mishka asks.
– No, I haven’t thought of it yet.
– I haven’t figured it out yet either.
— Why are you calling if you didn’t think of it?
– And I thought you came up with.
— I would have called myself then.
— I thought you wouldn’t guess.
— What do you think I am, an ass?
— No, what an ass you are! You are not an ass at all! Do I say that you are an ass!
— What are you talking about?
Nothing. I say that you are not an ass.
— All right, enough talking about the donkey! Let’s take better lessons.
– Come on.
I hung up and sat down to study. Suddenly Mishka calls again:
– Listen, now I will sing and play the piano on the phone.
“Well, sing,” I say.
Some hissing was heard, then the music began to strum, and suddenly Mishka sang in a voice that was not his own:
Where, where did you go,
Spring my golden days-and-and?
“What is this? – Think. Where did he learn to sing like that? Suddenly Mishka appears himself. Mouth to ears.
— You thought I was singing. This gramophone sings on the phone! Let me listen.
I gave him the phone. He listened, listened, then, as soon as he hung up, he ran downstairs. I picked up the phone, and there “Psh-sh-sh! Psh-sh-sh! Drrr! Drrr!” Probably the record is over. I sat down to study again. Again a call. I picked up the phone:
A from the tube:
– Aw! Aw! Aw!
— Why, — I say, — are you barking like a dog?
– It’s not me. This is your friend talking to you. Can you hear him biting his pipe with his teeth?
– I hear.
— It is I who poke a pipe in his face, and he gnaws at it with his teeth.
You better not ruin your pipe.
— It’s nothing, it’s made of iron… Oi! Go away! I’ll show you how to bite! It is for you! (Aw! Aw! Aw!) Biting, you know?
“I understand,” I say.
I sat down again for lessons. Call in a minute. I picked up the phone, and there is something buzzing:
“Hello,” I shout. “Zhuu! I’m waiting!”
— What are you buzzing about?
— What fly?
– Well, a simple fly. I hold her in front of the pipe, and she flaps her wings and buzzes.
The whole evening Mishka and I called each other and invented different tricks: we sang, shouted, growled, lowed, even talked in a whisper – everything was heard. I finished my lessons late and I think:
“I’ll call Mishka again before going to bed”.
Called, but he did not answer. “What is this? – Think. “Has the phone gone bad?”
Called again – again no answer! I think:
“I must go and find out what’s wrong.”
I resort to him… Fathers! He put the phone on the table and breaks it. He pulled out the battery from the device, dismantled the bell and unscrewed the phone.
– Stop! I say. Why are you breaking your phone?
– Yes, I do not break. I just want to see how it works. I’ll take it apart and then put it back together.
— So, will you pick it up? This must be understood.
— Well, I understand. What is there to understand! He unscrewed the pipe, took out some pieces of iron from it and began to pick out a round plate that was inside. The record fell out, and black powder fell out of the tube. The bear was frightened and began to collect the powder back into the tube.
“Well, you see,” I say, “what you have done!
— Nothing, — he says, — I will now collect everything as it was. And began to collect. He fiddled, fiddled … The screws are small,
it is difficult to screw. Finally I assembled the phone, only the piece of iron
he had one left and two extra screws.
– And where is this from – a piece of iron? I ask.
– Oh, I’m sloppy! Mishka says. – Forgot! It had to be screwed in there. You’ll have to take the pipe apart again.
– Well, – I say, – I’ll go home, and you, as soon as it’s ready, call me.
I went home and waited. I waited and waited, so nothing waited and went to bed.
The next morning the phone will ring! I jumped up undressed, grabbed the receiver and shouted:
— I’m listening!
And from the receiver in answer:
— Why are you grunting?
– How is it – grunting? I don’t grunt, I say.
Stop grunting! Speak like a human! Mishka screams.
– I speak humanly. Why grunt?
— Well, enough of your messing around! I still can’t believe you brought the pig into the room.
– They tell you that there is no piglet! I got angry.
The bear fell silent. A minute later he comes to me:
— Why were you grunting on the phone?
I didn’t grunt.
— I heard.
— Why should I grunt?
“I don’t know,” he says. – Only in my tube everything is “oink-oink” and “oink-oink”. Go, if you don’t believe me, listen.
I went to him and called him:
At first nothing was heard, and then slowly like this:
“Ork! Grunt! Grunt!” I say:
And the answer is again:
“Ork! Grunt! Grunt!”
Grunts! I scream. And from the receiver again:
“Ork! Grunt! Grunt! Grunt!” Then I realized what was the matter, and ran to Mishka.
— It’s you, — I say, — the phone is ruined!
— You took it apart, so you ruined something in your pipe.
— I must have assembled something incorrectly, says Mishka. – We need to fix it.
— How can you fix it now?
– And I’ll see how your phone works, and I’ll do the same with mine.
– I won’t let you disassemble my phone!
– Don’t be afraid! I’m careful. Gotta fix it! And he began to make. He fiddled, fiddled – and fixed it so that nothing could be heard at all. Even the grunting stopped.
— Well, what to do now? I ask.
– You know, – says Mishka, – let’s go to the store, maybe they’ll fix it there.
We went to a toy store, but they didn’t repair phones there and didn’t even know where they repaired them. We were bored all day long. Suddenly Mishka came up with:
– We are weirdos! After all, we can talk by telegraph!
– How – by telegraph?
– Very simple: dot, dash. The call does work! A short call is a dot, and a long call is a dash. Let’s learn Morse code and talk!
We got the Morse code and began to learn: “A” – dot, dash; “B” – dash, three dots; “B” – a dot, two dashes … We learned the entire alphabet and began to talk. At first, we did it slowly, and then we learned, like real telegraphists: “trib-trib-trib!” – and everything is clear. It was even more interesting than a simple phone. Only this did not last long. I call Mishka once in the morning, but he does not answer. “Well, I think, he is still sleeping.” Called later, still no answer. I went to him and knocked on the door. Bear opened and says:
— Why are you banging on the door? Can’t you see, right? And he shows a button on the door.
– What is it? I ask.
— Which one?
– Electrical. We now have an electric bell, so you can call.
— Where did you get it?
– Made it myself.
— From what?
– From the phone.
– How – from the phone?
– Very simple. The call was pulled out of the phone, the button too. And took the battery out of the phone. There was a toy – it became a thing!
— What right did you have to dismantle a phone? I say.
— What a right! I disassembled my phone. Didn’t touch yours.
– So our common phone! If I knew that you would break, then I would not buy with you! Why do I need a phone if there is no one to talk to!
— Why should we talk? I don’t think we live close, so we can come and talk.
— I don’t want to talk to you after that!
I got angry with him and didn’t talk to him for three days. Out of boredom, I dismantled my phone and made an electric call out of it. Just not like Mishka’s. I arranged everything neatly. I put the battery near the door on a shelf, from it I stretched wires along the wall to an electric bell and a button. And he screwed the button to the door with screws so that it would not hang on one nail, like Mishka’s. Even dad and mom praised me for arranging such a useful thing in the house.
I went to Mishka to tell him that now I also have an electric bell.
I go to the door, I ring… I pressed the button, I pressed it, no one opens it. “Maybe the call went bad?” – Think. Started knocking on the door. The bear opened. I ask:
– Why is the call not working?
– Not valid.
– Yes, I disassembled the battery.
– Well, I wanted to see what the battery is made of.